Marielcita's Blog

I’m almost done reading “No Logo.” It’s not exactly the most exciting book I’ve ever read, but it opens up your eyes to issues in the world you’ve always known have been a problem in the back of your head, but have never bothered to care for until well, you’ve read this book.  For example, Third World labor practices that America’s biggest and most successful companies employ when they outsource manufacturing of their products to these nations.  I'm literally thisclose to tossing my current pair of really comfortable and reliable Nike running shoes, regardless of the fact that they still have several months of wear left in them to go and purchase a pair of New Balances instead just to fully back up what this book is saying...

When I get angry and start to feel guilty and embarrassed about a certain needy, immature, and insecure person that spends the day at work ratting on me and nitpicking about how I didn’t invite him/her to my tattoo session with me (even though he/she totally disagrees with tattoos in general) or that I’m excluding him/her from my lunch plans that I have with a totally unrelated set of friends that him/her does not know (or even like for that matter), I now remember there are people in Honduras and Indonesia who refuse to even take a break to go to the bathroom at work and decide to pee in a plastic bag under their workstation for fear of the fact that their supervisor might rape them. Or that a 14 year old has to work three 24-hour shifts in a row for the holiday rush so that product supply can get exported and shipped to the US in time for Christmas season so Phil Knight of Nike can get his New Year’s bonus and notoriety, while the 14 year old worker only makes $2.50 for all three shifts, it really puts a different perspective on things for me.

Thank you to the individual who opened my eyes up to this book and the nature of the type of world in which we live.

Hi, it’s been a while.  I know I only spit these things out during what have become famously known amongst my friends as “economically efficient weekends.”  Anyways, to update you fine people, my 2007 “sudden rush to the altar” wedding season is over (thank God), I’m now the proud owner of not one, but TWO beautiful tattoos that I got within a week of each other and that are still healing,  I recently wrapped up the Harry Potter series, saw movie number five, took a wonderful and much needed visit back to the Durrrty, and now thanks to one more giant new musical obsession later, I now find myself reading about anitcorporate culture in America.  Written by a Canadian no less.  

Anyways, I’m in my usual depressing Sunday funk today, the same stupid funk that happens on all those Sundays where I don’t go out on the weekends, sleep too late, and then get bored and tend to overthink everything and freak out over nothing.  My latest freak out is over my plans to move, which have been spurred into action recently by a meeting with our SVP at work, who said I’m free to move at the end of my lease in July ’08 and they’ll figure out how to get me set up down there.  

Now logic says I should be thrilled by all this, however I began reading the infamous “Real Estate and Homebuying for Dummies” today and I started hyperventilating when I got to Chapter 2, that listed all of the costs involved.  Mind you, this all occurred to me while I waited for an hour in a smelly used clothing store during tax free weekend trying to sell my entire closet from last year in order to make a little extra cash.  I’m sitting there thinking, how in THE HELL am I going to find it in me over the next 12 months, to somehow come up with $10,000 to put towards a 20% down payment???  That doesn’t even factor in moving, insurance, and closing costs.  My heart skipped a couple beats.  And not in a good way.  I walked away from there with $6 for only two items that still have the $50 price tags on them.  I guess there’s always petsitting next weekend.

And as always, there is laundry to be folded.  Away I go.

I’m kind of weird.  As someone who works in music and is immersed in it to the extent that I am, you would think I would know good new music all the time, right away when I first hear it or hear about it.  Well okay, I always get really into music, but I’ve “discovered” all of my biggest influences and obsessions retroactively.  It never fails. It happened with Butch and it was the same with Aerosmith.  

Still confused?  Here’s an example.  Tegan and Sara are suddenly my latest musical phase.  Now I’ve known who these girls are since 2000/2000 when they were interviewed on a “You Hear It First” segment on MTV News.  They then broke big in America when “Walking With A Ghost” was huge two years ago.  But I’ve only just now realized that they’re f***ing brilliant!  Especially live.  They really sound like that when they sing too! 

Now I know what B-Dids felt like when he said he was “goin’ gay for James Morrison’s record” because he liked THAT much.  I wish I had written Tegan’s songs. Particularly “My Number.”  Her songwriting has a certain relatability factor to it that Sara’s just doesn’t.  I also wish I could change my hair as often as they do too and not care…I did get bangs yesterday though...and I. Love. Them.

I watched “Shut Up & Sing” on DVD tonight.  It ended up just pissing me even more.  If you don’t already know, I’ve always held Natalie Maines and the Dixie Chicks in a position of high esteem as female musicians.  The group goes to Europe at the height of the most pointless war ever, Natalie Maines exercises her right to free speech, and all of America flips out, bans their music, calls her un-American and threatens her life, but no matter what else happens, it’s cool when Paris Hilton goes to jail, puts out a record and spends her life acting like a f***ing idiot.  Yeah that’s how I like to see America put it’s best face forward and represent.  It's no wonder the rest of the world hates us.  We don't even know what we ourselves believe in or why.

Having a stomach bug on July 4th is so much fun!  Especially when it was triggered by not eating and then drinking one of those new Bacardi mojito-flavored malt bevs.  I love how all of my most memorable incidents spent with my face in plumbing porcelain is when I’ve only had one drink, whether it’s the strongest form of jungle juice on the market or something with as much alcohol in it as Natty Lite.

So let me tell you about life lately. Three days ago at this time I had only planned to print out a few images of the lotus flower tattoo on B-dubs’ left arm that’s serving as the inspiration for the ink I’ve been wanting.  I’m not really sure why I suddenly got on this kick to go get it done sooner than later.  I don’t know if I was feeling rebellious, burnt out, liberated, like I said, I’m not really sure.  This spontaneous sense of urgency randomly came over me.  And God knows I can’t exactly afford it right now, what with all the weddings, birthdays, bills to pay and other financial issues that keep happening to me.  I don’t even freakin’ know how the BW-inspired lotus flower design took over the Aerosmith logo that I originally was going to get first.  

At around 9:30pm on Sunday night I thought it would be a brilliant idea to go to the 24-hour Walgreen’s down the street to purchase new ink cartridges (which resulted in it’s own disaster that I’d like to forget about) and led me to take off work all day on Monday. I wasn’t sick then but I did need to sleep after Sunday night’s little mishap.  After talking to my boss and sleeping until noon, I figured I should go run errands while I had the time.  I kid you not, everything that I needed to do was directly on the way to the tattoo and piercing joint I had first checked out back in October.  How convenient.  I called the place up just to inquire about the process and the lady told me to just come in today and have a “consultation” (whoa, big words!) with the artist on staff that day.  Turns out, though I had an inkling (no pun intended), that this was the same guy with the impressive portfolio I had seen months earlier.  I ran by Kinko’s, color-printed the designs, and headed on over.  

Within a half hour, I had an appointment set up with the dude.  What’s even funnier to me is that my appointment is not only scheduled a year to the day that I first attended a Butch Walker concert “just to check him out” and get the hell outta my apartment in the midst of my unemployment and being let go from the job I originally came to Nashville for.  Oh the irony!  Were the stars unusually aligned or something?

The artist seemed surprised that I was so picky about how I wanted things done too. I wasn’t rude or demanding by any means, but shoot, if this is my first time and I have to have it on me for the rest of my life, damnit, I want it to look like the effing flower on B-Diddy’s arm!!!

I will admit it’s made me anxiously giddy to the extreme.  I also thought about how this might affect how boys perceive me, as any less beautiful/more trashy/whatever.  But I’ve come to realize that boys don’t exactly date me without one, why would it be any different with one?  That and as I’m sure I’ve explained before, if he’s that turned off by them, he’s probably too narrow-minded of an individual to begin with.  (I do also believe it was all female customers in the shop both times I went there!!!)

See you on the flip side!

It’s that time of the year people, it’s wedding season!!!  Everywhere you turn, you or someone you know is going to one…or several.  One right after the other.  I’ve already been to three.  And caught the bouquet at two of them!  (This makes me 3 for 5, when you include all weddings attended by me since 2005).  I rule!!!  I am bridal-bouquet-catcher extraordinaire!!!

The funny thing I’m discovering is that although I horribly dread going to them beginning about a week beforehand, I always have a blast.  But seriously, part of me is exhausted.  I don’t know the majority of people at them, buying gifts and plane tickets for them drains me financially, and I haven’t even thought much about my own yet.  Needless to say I’m tired.  

I have one more to attend next month and unfortunately it’s the one I’m least excited about.  It’s for one of my closest friends and I’m thinking the one I attended last night where I barely even knew the bride and groom, much less anyone else there, is going to be the better of the two. I won’t go into massive detail other than the lovely couple met only a month ago and in the matter of only one week, pushed their wedding up from September to July, under the guise of “we couldn’t get the place we wanted on the original date in September…”  Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…okay???

I know life isn’t perfect, but as her friend I had pictured so much better for this girl.  It really shouldn’t be like that. After some hard thinking, though, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t care anymore.  It’s not my job to worry about her life-altering decisions.  Yeah I can be one of those friends to tell her how I really feel, but well, I know she’s already hearing that from certain other mutual friends of ours and yet DeRthe wedding is still on.  So whether I speak up or not, the wedding is still going to happen.  It’s gotten me so torn up on the inside that I’ve told every other couple and single person I know that MIGHT even stand the slightest possibility of getting engaged anytime soon that they aren’t allowed to have a 2007 wedding.  2008, okay.  2009, even better!  If they do, they will not have the honor of my presence.  Sorry, but that’s how I feel.

And what's with those lame wedding reception favors???  I had a long discussion with some girls about that last night and it was quite entertaining to hear some of things people give out nowadays.  In addition to the usual bubbles and chocolate mints, there's photo frames, mousepads, and the like with the couples names and faces emblazened across them.  Why would I ever want to use that???  I know they want us to remember them and their day, but seriously, on a mouse pad???  And you can't regift these items, because well, that's not exactly going to fly with the regift's receiver.  Ugh.

Anyways, for “Little Miss Three Weeks” and her betrothed, I’ve resolved to just let myself have a good time.  Translation: I think this is THE wedding that I want to me the most hammered at. However, it’s also the most Christian.  Not really sure how that’s gonna work out…I’ll let you know.

Hello Atlanta! Well, I’m not really IN Atlanta, but on a layover at it’s overly crowded and durrrrrty airport (really, no pun intended).  The last sixty minutes have been interesting…because out of my own sheer stupidity, I missed my own flight out of here.  In a matter of 30 minutes, I somehow managed to find my way to the next concourse and rebook another flight on the same night and on the same airline leaving two hours later.  So here I am after a rapid almost-panic and unfortunately I have nothing to read.  I can only read the same articles in my magazines so many times, the books in the bookstores all cost $25 (as much as it cost me to reroute my flight!), and I’ve gotten stubborn about having to spend anything because I want to stash all my money away and I’ve actually started seeing some results.  Right now I am scouring the Internet for books I might be able to download and listen to on my iPod…

...on a side note, there are some very interesting people at this airport. Not something you get to see anywhere in Nashville.  I’m enjoying it for a change...

...of a song you don't even really like, no less.

Oh my goodness, living broke is HARD.   I mean I’m proud of myself for trying to do it, but it’s depressing me to no end!  I’m bored to tears today, sadly reminiscing on the fact that I’ve officially been stuck here an entire year, how much I missed Florida, how lame and not happening things are in my love life, and that after all I’ve been through in the past twelve months, how I feel I’m right back to where I started.  

I have no money, I quit tanning, I have no prospects (except two billion guys who ARE NOT my type), I can’t take too much more bad TV, I eat nothing but egg noodles, pasta, microwaveable soups, salads, and macaroni , and I schlep along with my married friends on the rare occasions when they go out b/c I have nothing else better to do.  There’s way too much stuff that I have to buy and pay for, I can’t get inked, I can’t waste too much gas, I can’t travel, I can’t go to a concert, I can’t go party, and I spend way too much time on my computer because it’s the only link I have to the world outside of this prison cell called Nashville.  I even take a billion online surveys on a regular basis in order to earn a few extra dollars.  The worst part about it that I have to take 5 or 6t sometimes to find I even qualify for and only then do I make a dollar or two.

Anyways, I was watching a music video earlier for a song by one of my favorite artists that I don’t even really like that much and the star of the video (who happens to be another singer that is friends with said “favorite artist of mine”) is going through very similar gyrations in life that I feel like I’ve been stuck going through lately.  Being depressed about boys, waking up alone, feeling alone and stuck, attending concerts on my own, this video has me going, “That’s me!”  minus the drug habit of course.  There’s even a part where the girl gets to the front row of the show and she said artist lock eyes for what is only a second but feels like an eternity.  This is the only thing that has made me happy all day.

In other news, people keep asking me more and more for recommendations for new music.  Could be a good thing.  I need to dig through it myself one of these days.  Hopefully tomorrow.  I feel like I have a hipster personality without looking the part.  At all.

Alright.  Off to spend another $30 that I don’t have on a concert for some musician I don’t know.  I hope they take American Express…

Okay here I go.  Unemployment ended.  Got wonderful new job (workin for a PRO!!!).  New job is right across the Roundabout from old miserable job, but worlds apart...and I like it that way!!!  Met a ton of new and awesome people.  Some I wish I hadn't.  Discovered Nashville.  Partied way too hard.  Drank too much.  Saw Aerosmith (TWICE!!!).  Went to Miami...and my employer paid for it!!!  Got caught up in other people's drama.  Burned myself out...fast.  Got tired of the drama.  Slept very little.  Stressed much.  Spent what little money I had.  Became broke.  Joined a real gym.  Gained a few pounds, lost it, then gained it back in muscle weight.  Experienced huge success at work.  Grew sick of Nashville (no surprise there...).  Got a little boy crazy for a bit.  Crushed hard.  Lost interest in crushes quicker than I developed them (out of pure boredom, they weren't right for me anyways!).  Dug for new music.  Went retroactive with older bands.  Made some more money.  Saw Atlanta.  Fell in love with Atlanta.  Figured outside of Nashville has way more to offer.  Made some life adjustments.  Became broke again for a short term to save for longer term happiness.  Researched future options.  Read some intellectual texts.  Turned 25.  Butch Walker came to town again.  Opened a new savings account.  Gave to charity!!!  Trying to save for a condo.  Still wondering why the Nashville hipsters only come out at night.

That's the gist of where I'm at now.  More details on the "life adjustments" blips coming right up...after I work, save, and sleep a little more.  I need some God and creativity in the meantime.  No, really.  Give me a week.  See ya then! :)

Much has happened since I last signed in.  I actually forgot I had an account...until Butch Walker came to town again in April and reminded me how I found this site to begin with.  Or maybe it was because I finally got a job that works for me as much as I work for it. 

Anyways, not that anyone cares, but new(er) pictures, journals, info coming soon...

bye bye.